Plain and simple.  The Scots know how to have fun.  Here’s a list of quirky events that’ll get you scratching your head…then wanting to take part.

HIGHLAND GAMES
They’ve been going on for over 300 years and was a way for Scottish men to prove that they were fit for battle.  How did they test their strength, skill and endurance, you ask?  Try throwing a hammer, tossing the caber (aka a long wooden pole), shot putting and my all time favorite – tug o’ war.  Although the games are no longer used to determine whether men are fit for combat (thanks goodness), they remain highly popular events with local and visitors alike.  Highland Games take place across the country between May and September.

SWAMP SOCCER WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS
The rules of swamp soccer are similar to soccer like we know it, but with a number of exceptions. Each team has just six players (a goalkeeper & five outfield players) with unlimited substitutions. Games last for 24 minutes in total (12 minutes each way)…and fancy dress is allowed!  But above all else, being covered in mud is a must.  The World Championships will be held in Argyllshire June 26 to 27, 2010.

WORLD PIPE BAND CHAMPIONSHIP
The World Pipe Band Championships have been associated with Glasgow since 1948 and are a celebration of the very best of Scottish music, culture and dance. Last year’s event saw over 8,000 pipers and drummers from across the globe.  This year’s championships will be held in Glasgow on August 14, 2010.

UP HELLY AA
Up Helly Aa is a fire festival involving a torchlit procession, the burning of a Viking longship and a ceilidh which lasts late into the night. The festival heralds the end of winter and the beginning of spring. The burning of the Viking galley also commemorates the way a Viking warrior was cremated: by being pushed out into the sea in his trusty longship.  The fires ignite every year between February and March and take places in various locations in Scotland.

Being a blood Scot, I personally cringe at attempted Scottish accents in TV shows and movies. I’m sure the likes of Gerard Butler and Ewan McGregor (fellow Scots) would agree. It’s just wrong! In truth, the Scots language is varied and diverse, I even struggled to get to grips with the odd phrase here and there when I moved 90 miles away from my home town of Perth. I stumbled upon practically a whole new language in Aberdeen, where a girl is a ‘quine’ and “how are you?” is “fit like?” I kid you not! Nothing like what you hear on TV I assure you! Let me try and give you a little taste of the colloquialism in Scotland, auld (old) and new!

My Granny’s kitchen is a great place to start. Where the staple ingredient to every meal is the tattie. Tattie soup, tattie scones, boiled tatties and fried tatties. No idea what a tattie is? Potato! Yes more often that not it’s tattie instead of potato for us Scots. Traditional Scots language has almost been lost along the way and many have described it as a lazy way of speaking. I have to admit I didn’t beginning to fully appreciate it until I move to the States. Instead of asking me to go through the house and get the towels from the laundry room, my Granny would say “Go ben the hoose and get the tools fae the lobby” – some may describe it as a foreign language! We also have “wheesht the noo” – “be quiet just now”, “mind your pow” – “watch your head” and “I dinny ken”  translated to “I don’t know!” I could go on for hours. All my childhood days spent at my Grandparents house most certainly added to my vocabulary!

Move from town to town in Scotland and be warned, you will have to adapt to the variations in language. In Aberdeen, the Granite City, a boy is often referred to as a ‘loon’. Needless to say this took me sometime to realise that this didn’t mean the person in question was a tad crazy! People from Glasgow are often dubbed ‘weegies’, often taken as an insult by Glaswegians. Girls be warned, you’ll find yourself being called ‘hen’ here. Dundee almost has a language of it’s own, there’s even a ‘Dundonian for beginners’ website! The home page sums it up “Watna but pink lint on yir peess?’ aka “Do you want a piece of cold meat on your sandwich?” who wouldn’t know that?!

This is just a small idea of the diverse and often entertaining language of the Scots. If anyone would like a tutorial in how to talk Scots I’d be more than happy to help…or perhaps you could teach me a phrase or too? Watch out, there could be more to follow on this one, I feel I’ve just opened a can of worms. Braw!

-Danielle McKinlay, Contributing Editor

So, here’s my list of things I would do if given the chance to go to Scotland.

Edinburgh

Just the name Edinburgh conjures up romantic ideas of a Georgian city that has been home to some of the greatest minds on the industrial age, overlooked by an imposing fortress castle. Edinburgh is the heart of Scotland and I would love a chance to explore it’s winding streets, beautiful architecture and photograph it’s gorgeous castle.

Glasgow

Most Anglophiles love the British accent. But one thing we learn as we get more obsessed with Britain is that there are in fact many different accents on the island of Great Britain. After hearing many different accents over the years – by far my favorite is the Glasgow, lilting accent. I’m not sure what I would do in Glasgow other than sit in a pub and listen to locals talk. I do know the Glasgow is home to world class museums, monuments and architecture. But for me it will all be about the Glaswegian accent.

Loch Ness

Because of the monster of course. Everyone knows that the monster doesn’t exist but Loch Ness exists in our collective consciousness as a place of mystery surrounded by natural beauty. So, I definitely think it’s worth a boat ride with the hope that maybe, just maybe I’ll glimpse Nessie coming up for air.

John O’Groats

Southern England has Land’s End. Scotland has John O’Groats – the northernmost point in Great Britain. There’s not much there except a charming tourist trap – but I think it says something to be able to say you’ve been to the very tip of Scotland and survived to tell the tale.

Ben Nevis

One of the many things on my bucket list is to climb Ben Nevis. Thankfully, Ben Nevis is the kind of mountain you can climb, even if you’re in terrible shape like me. It features a gently sloping, well worn path that even novices can climb. Though I would only do it in the summer with good weather!

Eilean Donan

This castle is iconic – it’s probably the most filmed castle in Britain and I don’t think a trip to Scotland would be complete without taking an amble across it’s medieval causeway and having a poke around the castle. I would also block aside several hours to take as many pictures as possible of the castle centered in it’s peaceful loch.

So, if you had the chance to go to Scotland, where would you go?

- Jonathan Thomas, Anglotopia, Contributing Editor,

Cheese

In my book, nothing beats a quality cheese plate.  Scotland is home to everything from cheddar to caboc.  One cheese to look out for is Crowdie.  It’s known as the most ancient cheese in Scotland.  What an honor!  This soft cheese dates back to the eighth century and has been undergoing somewhat of a resurgence in Scottish cuisine.  The Stone family’s Highland Fine Cheeses has played a big role in bringing the cheese back.  In fact, their Gruth Dhu (aka Black Crowdie) is rolled in toasted oatmeal and black peppercorns.  Delish!  Editor’s pick: The Three Chimneys on the Isle of Skye

Seafood

With more than 6,000 miles of coastline, it’s no wonder why Scotland is teeming with seafood — fish, lobster, mussels, oysters, crab and scallops.   When you visit Scotland, you’ll see a good amount of salmon and trout on the menu.  They’re often smoked and served cold with bread and butter.  Cold fish?  Take it from me, it’s amazing.  Once THE fish in Scotland, Herring is still popping up on restaurant menus and are sometimes “soused” (or pickled).  Editor’s pick: Stravaigin in Glasgow.

Beef

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of beef is Angus.  Aberdeen-Angus is a region in Scotland known for its high quality beef.  And for all you meat lovers out there (myself included),  you’ll find it on almost every menu.  And I’m totally okay with that.  I’ve seen beef paired with everything from spinach and potatoes to chestnuts and prunes.  Editor’s pick: The Victorian Kitchen Restaurant at Glamis Castle

Berries

From strawberries to blueberries, Scotland is full of these delectable delights.  The country’s Tayside region is even known for its very own Tayberry, which is a hybrid of a raspberry and blackberry.  Chefs from all over the country use berries in a variety of desserts including pies and crumbles as well as jams and jellies.  Editor’s pick: The Grain Store in Edinburgh

The country’s capital, Edinburgh, is home to some braw (great) festivals. Edinburgh Festivals are annual events comprising of some of the most well regarded festivals in the world.  From art and film to The famous Fringe and Military Tattoo people travel from around the globe each year in aid of these popular events. Check it out here for the dates for your diary and have a wee dram (a small alcoholic drink) for us when you get there!

Fancy visiting the capital in winter? Then the Edinburgh Hogmanay festival is a must. Hogmanay (New Years Eve) is a big deal and is very traditional to us Scots. My Granny fondly tells stories from back in the day of first footing (visiting someone at home for the first time that year – usually with a selection of bottles!) where the tradition would carry on well into January. Sounds good to me, maybe we should reinstate that! So for a true Scottish New Year experience Edinburgh is a must. The event takes over Princes Street with amazing views of the historic Ediburgh Castle and the city hosts thousands of visitors each year especially for this event.

Glasgow International Jazz festival takes place in June and has a huge following from musicians and jazz lovers all over the world. Whilst Scottish Highland Games have been a hugely popular event for centuries, taking place across the country. They provide a showcase of traditional sporting events that are participated in and enjoyed by people of all nationalities.

For music fans and party lovers Scotland has some majorly fun and popular events. Rock Ness is an annual festival that takes place in the hometown of Nessie (The Loch Ness monster) Inverness. It comprises some of todays top bands and calls for a weekend of camping and music. T in the Park takes place in Perthshire every year and is 3 days of famous bands, partying, camping and plodding around a field in your welly boots! Awesome fun and totally worth a visit.

Wanna know more about festivals in Scotland? Just ask! And from the famous song, Loch Lomond, “You take the high road and I’ll take the low road and I’ll be in Scotland afore ye! (before you)”

-Danielle McKinlay, Contibuting Editor

Here’s a quick overview of Scotland’s Whisky regions:

The Lowlands
Southern Scotland currently has three working distilleries.  The whiskies from the Lowlands are light and soft and offer hints of malt and grass among our more subtle flavors.

The Highlands
To the North, the highland’s is the geographically largest whisky region. Because of this range in geography, the whisky’s will range from dry to sweet and some even have a touch of smoke and peat.    Within the highlights on the West Coast of Scotland is an area of wild, indented shores, twinkling harbors, and misty islands that has recently been named the Whisky Coast.  Many of these whisky’s flavors will belie their peaty landscape, but again, they vary greatly. You’ll just have to taste them all (Note: Islay and Campbeltown, below, are also part of the Whisky coast trail).

Speyside
Speyside is  home to about half of Scotland’s malt whisky distilleries. This small area north west of Aberdeen produces mellow, sweet, and particularly fruity malt whiskies.  Many of these are popular here, including Glenfiddich, Glenlivet and Macallan. If you plan to do your first whisky tour of Scotland, this is the area to visit.  Late April is the time to go during the Spirit of Speyside festival.

Islay
Located on the west coast, below the Whisky coast isles is the small Island of Islay is often called ‘Whisky Island’ given its concentration of eight distilleries, which are known for their heavily peated and smoky flavor.   Bowmore is produced here.

Campbeltown
The town of Campbeltown was once home to more than 30 distilleries.  Today it is home to just three: Springbank, Glen Gyle and Glen Scotia. Whiskies from the town tend to have a little peat and salt to them, and are generally medium to full bodied.

Two other facts for Whisky newbs:

Single Malts vs. Blends:  Single malts are just that, one whisky. Blending was pioneered by  in Edinburgh in the 1860s.  It was only after this practice became common that a taste for Scotch whisky spread first to England and then throughout the world.  Usually 15 or more whisky’s are blended together. (You’ll loose the ability to do the nose test above with blends).

“The name ‘whisky’ originated with the Gaelic ‘Uisge Beatha’, or ‘water of life’.   It’s Whisky in Scotland (and Japan, India, and Canada). The Americans and the Irish add the “e.”

Don’t know where to start? Luckily, someone has put together a nice whisky itinerary.

If you don’t fancy yourself a traditional tourist, but feel that you want to get the spirit of London, here are a few “alternative” suggestions for capturing the spirit of town and engaging your inner wonder child.

Satisfy your thirst for oddity at the Wellcome Collection, a free museum for the “incurably curious.”  If a few of those anatomical exhibits don’t do it for you, you can cure your craving for body cavities at the Royal College of Surgeon’s Hunterian Museum.

Smile with delight as the happy tourists trod, unsuspectingly, over London’s most horrific crime sites.  Open your eyes to London’s terrible past with the thoroughly researched Blood & Tears Walk which is led by former actor Declan McHugh.

Tired of birds chirping outside your bedroom window? Book a room in the World’s smallest pop-up hotel at the ZSL London Zoo, and you can wake up to the sounds of Chimpanzees singing.

You can get to the zoo by heading over to London’s Little Venice, Regent’s Canal and taking a narrowboat ride to the London Zoo stop.

Take a champagne flight on the London Eye to kick off a bachelorette party.  You’ll get a panoramic view of the city you’re about conquer.

Enjoy some crocodile, chocolate-covered scorpion and a Pond Life cocktail to wash it all down, at the wacky Archipelago. Then head to Public Life on Commercial Street, a bar that used to be a public loo! There’s nothing unsavoury about this bijou venue and the cool tunes being spun by the DJs. The drinks are cheap too.

Channel your inner undergrad political science major and visit Parliament while it’s in session.

If you want to savor one major attraction that’s only open to locals, you’ll have to get to know someone. The climb to the top of Big Ben is not open to overseas visitors.  But local residents can make a request, likely 6 months in advance through their local MP (and potentially include you).   Needless to say, it’s time you put your overseas networking and pen pal skills to the test.  Word on the street is that a demonstrated interest in clocks is helpful.

London has some of the world’s best hidden and secret cultural experiences.  And we’re here to dish it all out.  There’s some pretty cool sutff here and it’s only in London.

Becoming a VIP has never been this easy.  And we’re giving you the scoop.  Laden with exclusive offers, secret sales and invitation-only events to London’s West End, West End VIP has a dedicated online portal that will give you automatic celebrity status.  The biggest stores, hotels and restaurants on Oxford Street, Regent Street and Bond Street have joined forces to offer killer deals.  Like scoring two VIP tickets to Les Miserables and an overnight stay at the Mandeville Hotel with complimentary afternoon tea.  Woot.

Skip from the lights of the West End to a more hidden (and slightly darker and creepy) venue for London theatre.  The St Pancras Church crypt is currently staging Warnings, ghost stories from British scholar M.R. James.   Members of the audience are invited to freely wander through the darkness, with the possibility of chance encounters, other-worldly images and terrifying surprises. 

Their slogan is Tell No One.  Secret Cinema attracts film fans looking for the latest in grounbreaking film making.  This secret society of sorts meets once a month in some of the oddest venues in London.  Screenings have been held in derelict theatres, rooftops, five star hotel parking garages and graveyards.   You need to be quick on the pulse if you want to sign up for the cinema.  The mystery locations are revealed the day of the screening.

So, there you have it.  Some of London’s best kept secrets.  Do you have any to share??

London is a perfect spot for gastronomic gallivanting.  Listen, we’ve all heard it before.  London just doesn’t have good food.  Well, to all you naysayers…I object!  It’s only in London that you’ll find everything from the world’s first organic pub to one of the most renowned food markets around. 

On my last visit to London, I visited the city’s oldest food market, Borough Market.  It’s made up of 70 stalls and stands where producers from all over Britain bring a plethora of fresh produce including fish, meats, veggies, ciders, cheeses, breads, etc.  Not to be missed is a restaurant called Roast. It’s pretty much built inside the market.  Their Welsh Rarebit is out-of-this-world. 

Jump across town to the world’s first organic pub, The Duke of Cambridge.  It’s been around over 140 years and features dishes like butternut squash, almond and mascarpone and whole baked red mullet with haricot beans. Pair that with one of their organic lagers.  Sigh.  Since 1998, their menu has been locally sourced from independent producers.

For foodies looking for a view that’s just as stunning the resturant’s menu, check out The Oxo Tower Restaurant, Bar and Brasserie.  It’s situated on the eighth floor of the Oxo Tower. The Restaurant menu is stylish and creative – top quality ingredients beautifully presented with an innovative twist.  Take the loin of cod with red pepper and a chorizo puree or the wood pigeon with open walnut ravioli.  Open kitchen, live jazz and and speedy service.  Check, check and check.

Stick a fork in me, I’m done.

Prepare to be haunted. London Ghost Tours is sure to satisfy your taste for the paranormal. Journey to secret, hidden and historic places, to uncover and experience the spooky and sinister world of Haunted London. Venture down old alleyways and abandoned graveyards.  And who better to lead you to these eerie places than Richard Jones, the author of many writings on haunted Britain. Jones offers an unrivalled (and perhaps disturbing) level of experience and expertise when it comes to the capital’s darker history. 

Wander through the historic Tower of London and don’t be surprised if you hear a hair-raising scream or gasp when something (or someone) brushes past you. Sitting on the banks of the River Thames, the Tower is known to be inhabited by tortured souls, who were executed  in the tower over the years. Legend has it that an inexplicable bear also roams the Tower of London. You have been warned.

Ready for a full-on ghost encounter?  Take a trip into history and visit the Ten Bells Pub, associated with none other than Jack the Ripper.  This chilling legend horrificly and famously murdered Mary Kelly, his last victim, after she left this pub. Live-in staff whose bedrooms are on the upper floors of the building, complained of alarming encounters with a ghost. Dare you? And if you just can’t get enough of the Ripper, travel back to the year of 1888 when one of the worlds most infamous and dangerous serial killers stalked the streets of London with Mystery Walks. Be ready to discover things about London’s horrible history you never knew existed.

Still blood thirsty? Then grab a pint and enjoy lunch at The Gungastropub, said to be haunted by Admiral Horatio Nelson himself. Afterwards, head to the Queen’s House in Greenwich, believed to be terrorised by a mischievous child-ghost who pinches visitors’ bums, and a lady in grey who watches proceeding from the balcony. Better be on your best behaviour then!

We hope you live to tell the tale…

- Danielle McKinlay, Contributing Editor